Sunday, January 28, 2007

30 minutes ...

I spent thirty minutes in a catholic church today.
It was the first time I felt the need to do that in some time
I noticed the church about a week ago
I have walked by it many times before
But I only saw it a week ago.
And today I felt the genuine need, was drawn to it, to go inside
kneel down and bury my face in my hands, close my eyes
say a few Hail Mary’s and be one with the other stillness there
the smell and stillness of an old catholic church.

And when it was over it was over and I could leave
and I did leave after a while
after I had knelt and then sat and then looked up
at the statues of Mary and Jesus and Joseph
and saw people who made up a family like mine
like many other families
who tried to live right in their world
and must have done something remarkable
to be remembered even now
I felt the need to pray today – to ask for a little guidance.
to sit in an old catholic church and see the holy family there
along with poverty and death and the fear of the unknown.

Whether they were god or near god or godlike I don’t know
But Mary was a mother to someone
and Joseph was a father to someone
and Jesus was a son to someone
and the story of their living and sacrifice and faith
comes to us from men who knew them
or heard of them from such men
or needed to dream such a story
and it is surely a good story
a clear and important one.

Even if they are not god
they are as much god as I am god
or you are god
or anyone is or can be god
because It is only us after all
all of us who make it up
each family, man, woman and child
one day into the next
one generation into the next
our purpose to live
to appreciate life
fleeting in its experience
precious in its memory
eternal in its spirit.